just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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