so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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