I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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