Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
