Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
