try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
