you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
