I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
