I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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