can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
