i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
