dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
