My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
