i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
