You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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