Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
