is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
