In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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