no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
and i looked up. we had an audience...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
