The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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