The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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