I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize