I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So much rum. So many feels.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
