I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
