By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize