when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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