found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want her autograph on my taint
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
