I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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