I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
it's great music for shaving your balls
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
