How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We need to get me chipped asap
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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