Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
