barbara walters just said penis...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
