and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
