I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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