he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
