I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
