She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize