his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The adults are the big ones right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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