The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
