fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We talked him into tasing himself.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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