Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
