I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
