I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
