my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
