Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
