You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
