im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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