Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
