idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
