True but thats because hes a fetus.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
