can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize