No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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