i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
my poor anus
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
