I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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