I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
