Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
