Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
wow bdsm is so cute
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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